Complicated
by WindowsDown22
Summary: Before Logan met Kendall his life was going further down hill as each day passed by. Kendall changes his life for the better. Kogan. One-Shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own big time rush, nor will I ever *runs away and cries***

* * *

**Complicated**

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Ten year old Logan Mitchell was at his wits ends. He was left alone in his room once again, the constant solitude; isolation from anyone and everyone far too much for his young mind to handle. He desperately wanted to feel normal, be an accepted part of the social circles that existed around the small town he lived in, Sherwood Minnesota. Who would ever want to tolerate him; a freak, a loser into their group of friends though.

He sat at his window with a book in hand, his eyes darting back and forth across the page reading the tiny, fine print. It was a thick book about the human anatomy, one of which most ten year olds either couldn't read, or wouldn't bother to. Logan though was thoroughly interested hoping to be a doctor one day like his mother. His mother. The thought of the bitter woman should've left a sour taste in his mouth, due to the years of emotional abuse he had been suffering at her hands.

She had had Logan at a young age, and always told Logan how he had ruined her life. She had had the whole world ahead of her, and he had just had had to go and wreck that. Logan was never good enough, no matter what he did never seeming to even a small nod of approval. He knew he was simply a failure in his mother's eyes. That was why she had started leaving him to himself, disappearing for days, weeks even. It was his fault for he wasn't good enough to make her want to stay. However he simply couldn't bear to think ill of the cold-hearted women. His entire life he had simply wished to please her, and even though nothing was ever good for the acrimonious female, he continued to do his best, keeping all bad thoughts of his mother in the back mind. They were stashed away in a cage, which he kept locked never wishing to open, afraid of what might happen if he did.

A kids gleeful cry, alerted Logan to what he had been waiting for. He head snapped upward, a smile gracing his face, his cheeks bones protesting as they always did for smiling was not something he did often. He shook it off however his eyes now trained on what was happening below him. Nets were being set up, equally spaced out over the street, two boys decked out in hockey gear animatedly chatting as this was happening. Once this was done, the pretty boy of the two placed a puck between him and his friend. They had sticks in their hands, the two clashing them together in some pre-game ritual before they began to play. The two cackled as they crashed into one another, either cheering when they scored a goal of pouting when the other did. They seemed to be having fun, and that was why Logan enjoyed watching them, for it was the closest thing to fun he would ever get.

After around forty-five minutes the boys seemed to be getting bored, so they packed up to go on to something more exciting. Logan frowned as he watched them leave, a single tear trekking down his rosy cheek as he wished for them to come back. They left without a second thought however, Logan's time of fun now over. He went back to reading his book, staying in that very spot by the window until he was finished. The sky was now darkening, as he looked out for the fiftieth time that day, realising that the boys weren't going to return. He shut his book with a sorrowful sigh, before moving off his chair to head to the kitchen for some food.

He cooked his own dinner as usual, a plate of baked beans on toast. He always had something to eat which was easy to cook, due to his bad experience with using both the oven and frying pan. He had once used the oven to cook what had been raw chicken breasts. Needless to say, food poisoning was something that Logan never wished to go through again. The frying pan incident had resulted in a small fire and a burnt hand, leaving him too frightened to use one again. He pulled his seat out to sit at the table, eating in a deafening silence. Once finished he cleaned his mess, realising it was his bed time. He had to do one thing first. He walked over to the phone, grabbing it before dialling his mother's cell phone number. He then sat down, his knees pulled up to chin as he leaned back against the wall. As always it went to voicemail.

"Hey mum," Logan said shakily after the beep had sounded. "I-It's Logan here. I just thought I would c-call to tell you that I'm a-all right. I…ah I well I um, I finished a book on the h-human anatomy today. When this g-guy at my school saw I was reading it, he c-called me stupid and said that I wasn't smart enough to read I-It. But I did, and I u-understood it all. Did you k-know, the largest organ in the body is the s-skin, and in a lifetime, each person s-sheds around eighteen kilograms of s-skin. Oh of course you knew that, y-you're a doctor, I-I'm so silly," Logan chuckled nervously. "Um well I uh, I just c-called to say g-good night and that I-I hope to see you soon. I-I um, I love you a-a lot, and ah call me b-back if you get this message. It would b-be nice to h-hear your voice, so um yeah, um good night and g-good-bye."

Logan hung up hastily, mentally berating himself. He knew he sounded like a stuttering buffoon. That's probably why she doesn't love you, because you can't even string together a sentence without sounding like a stuttering idiot, he told himself. He shrugged it off before standing to go to his room. He got into his pyjamas, before doing his nightly routine. He brushed and flossed his teeth, washed his face, all before looking into the mirror. A saddened boy stood before him, the way he looked in his reflection making him shudder. He looked like an empty shell. There was no personality, no emotion, another reason in his mind as to why no one would ever like him. His eyes held no twinkle, his face held no prospect of happiness. His eyes fell to the floor not wanting to look at him-self anymore. It just brought him closer to the brink of depression. He walked to his room, before checking for monsters, something which he had learnt to do himself a long time ago. He pushed back the bed covers to search under the bed, opening the closet door to check there as well. When he was satisfied he crawled into bed, turning on his night light, before turning on his side to sleep, his only hope being; please let tomorrow be a better day. With that he closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall into restless sleep.

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"Hey loser," the harsh noise of skin colliding with metal sounded, as a boy pushed Logan into the row of lockers behind him. When Logan turned around, he saw who it was; Ben Cronin one of the many boys who seemed to have it in for him. He didn't flinch as the Ben began to laugh maliciously. Logan now noticed two more boys had shown up as his faithful goons. They crowded around him like a pack of blood-thirsty, rabid dogs ready to attack their prey. Logan showed no fear though, his face an abyss of nothingness.

"You're such a freak," the boy spat, grabbing Logan by the collar of his shirt and pushing him back against the lockers again. His cronies behind him clapped and hooted, cheering the thug on.

"You should just leave here, no cares about you; you don't even have any friends. Why do show up to school, it's not as if anyone wants you here," deep down the words hurt, but Logan had stopped feeling anything a while ago. At eleven years of age he was stuck in a place full of nothing but utter pain, and he was trying to latch onto anything that could keep him going; I'm going to get a good grade in that science test, then my mum might be proud of me, then maybe she will start to come home more often. But he hadn't gotten a good grade. He had gotten an A minus. He studied so hard, and he had gotten a measly A minus. There went his plans of ringing his mother to tell her the good news, for Logan knew nothing but the best was good enough for his mother. As the days passed by, he was slowly beginning to realise there wasn't really much into his life to hold onto. No friends, no father, a mother whom he barely saw. Logan knew Ben was right. No one cared, and Logan couldn't help but think no one ever would. The bell rung and Ben let Logan drop to the floor, where he crumpled like a piece of paper. What am I even doing here? He wondered, taking a deep breath and pushing all of the bad feeling away. Tomorrow will be better, he had told himself over and over again, repeating it in attempt to drum it into his until he had almost talked himself into believing it. Almost.

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Logan can't take it anymore. Forty two days. Forty two days since the last time he had spoken to someone. His mother had come to see him, but that was merely to see if he had had enough food to survive off of. He wanted to talk to her, but the words wouldn't come out. He had sat there mute, as his mother put food upon the counter to last him until her next visit before leaving without a word. A teacher in this time had asked him how to answer a maths question, but he simply couldn't. He knew the answer, it was on the tip of his tongue, but as his mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish, he knew he wouldn't be able to. He heard his class mates' snigger, muttering how stupid he was underneath their breaths, the teacher finally asking someone else to spear Logan of more humiliation. He hadn't even let out as so much a squeak. Even when Ben had beaten him up on his walk home from school, he hadn't even cried out, groaned, screamed in pain. He had simply taken the beating in silence, waiting for them to finish so he could get home to…well to no one.

Today was his birthday. No one knew; no one cared. He had called his mother last night, wanting to ask her if she would come home for him. The words had died upon his lips as the beep sounded. He hung up without a word, wanting to sigh but finding he couldn't even manage that. He sat outside his school, behind a tree trunk watching as cars passed him by. It was something he used to do as child, as he waited for his mother to pick him up. Sometimes she would, on those days leaving Logan feeling like he was the luckiest kid alive. Most times she wouldn't, resulting in a long trek home and a night where he would cry himself to sleep. Today he had found there was a little bit of hope in his mind. He didn't know where it had come from, but he felt like something was going to happen. It was his birthday, and sure he didn't even really know what that meant; never having been to one, and never having had one, but didn't that mean good things were meant to happen. So he sat outside school waiting. Waiting for what he wasn't sure, and why he was waiting here, he wasn't sure either, but that was what he was doing.

He sat there for a few more minutes, before he began to hear noises from behind him. He peeked around the tree trunk to see a crowd of children exiting the school, their parents close by. Logan knew that they were the hockey team who had obviously finished up their practise. When Logan saw Ben he quickly moved back behind the tree trunk not wanting the bully to see him. When the noises died, Logan found himself relaxing still waiting.

"I can't believe he made us clean up after everyone," A loud voice came. Logan came out from his hiding place once again, to see a group of three boys and their parents. He recognized two of them immediately, being the boys he had used to watch for fun. Then there was the blond boy. Logan shuddered inwardly realising where he knew him from.

Two days ago the boy had moved here from Los Angeles. Logan didn't know his name. All he knew was that two days ago in the morning, he had been walking down the hall. He was used to hateful glares being aimed his way, so when he felt a soft, delicate gaze upon the back of his neck, he felt his heart skip a beat. He turned around to see this blond boy, staring at him. Logan raised an eye-brow not knowing what to do. The blond simply looked away, a blush spreading over his cheeks. The encounter had scared Logan, but at the same time it had struck a chord inside him, which had made the corners of his lips turn up slightly.

"Well it was your fault for punching me!" The Latino shouted at the pretty boy.

"No it's your fault for insulting my hair!" The pretty boy screeched back, turning to slightly push the Latino.

"Well you did have helmet hair, because you were wearing a helmet!"

Out of nowhere it turned in to a full on punch up, the two boys rolling around on the grass, kicking and scratching. Logan's eyes though were focused on nothing else but the blond boy. He was standing there giggling, the sound beautiful like a chorus of wind chimes. Without warning the blond stopped giggling and turned directly to look at him. Logan heart began to race, his face reddening the shade of a tomato, his palms becoming sweaty, his breathing quickening all in one go. The blond smiled and waved. The gesture was so friendly it made Logan began to cry. Tears streamed down his face with no abandon and all of a sudden the blond boy was by his side.

"Did I do something wrong, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to…" the boy continued to spew out a series apologies, trying to get Logan to calm down but nothing seemed to work. When the blond put his hand on Logan's back, rubbing circles he just cried harder.

"Please, I'm sorry, whatever I did I'm sorry."

Logan chocked by sobs, shivering for this was all too much. He turned to the boy, wanting to say something, anything. He couldn't though, and it made him feel like more of a loser than he already was. He pulled his legs up to his chin, burying his face in between them to hide his shame. His cries began to lessen with every passing second the boys hand still on his back.

"Kendall sweetie, what's going on," Logan's head shot up to see the kind face of an auburn haired woman.

"I don't know, I think he's upset, and I just wanted to make him feel better."

Logan couldn't believe the words coming out of the boy's mouth. Next thing he knew the women was kneeling before him, looking so comforting something so foreign to Logan.

"Is everything okay sweetheart?" Logan felt the tears spring to his eyes once again.

"Sweetie, can you tell me if everything all right?" Logan opened his mouth, willing himself to speak. But he failed once again, answering with a simple shake of his head.

"Well, is there someone here with you?" again Logan shook his head.

"Is there somewhere that I can take you to?"

The niceties were simply to over-whelming, but Logan found himself nodding his head.

"Okay honey, well why don't you stand up, my cars just over there and I'll take you to wherever you need okay. Can you tell me where to go?" Logan shook his head.

"So you have somewhere to go, but you can't tell me where it is?" he nodded.

"Well don't worry, we'll figure it out, right Kendall."

The boy now known as Kendall nodded in excitement.

"Can you tell me your name sweetheart?"  
"It's Logan," Logan stared at Kendall as if he was alien. No one knew Logan's name, no one cared enough to want to know his name. So how did Kendall know him?

"Okay Logan, my cars just over there," Logan stood shakily, Kendall's mum holding out a hand which Logan took shakily. They crossed the road, and before Logan knew it they were driving.

"Can you not speak?" Kendall asked. Logan opened his mouth to say that he could, but he ended up shaking his head instead,

"That's weird I've never met someone who can't speak before. Can you write?" Logan nodded, and all of a sudden Kendall was grabbing pen and paper out of his bag, and was writing something on the paper with his tongue caught between his top and bottom row of teeth. He then passed it Logan, who took it hesitantly.

Hi my names Kendall, write me back.

Logan wasn't sure what to do. It was all so confusing. Why was this guy even bothering with him in the first place? He wasn't worth anyone's time. He found himself wanting to write back though, so he placed the pen to the paper.

**Hi.**

He passed it back to Kendall, igniting a conversation without any words being spoken.

Why did you cry? Did I do something wrong?

**No.**

Then why?

**I can't say. **

Please tell me:(

**No.**

Fine, be that way:) could you tell me where you need to go. My mum will want to know.

Logan wrote down his address, which Kendall then told his mum.

The rest of the car ride was spent passing notes back and forth. It was mostly Kendall asking Logan questions, and Logan refusing to answer, but Kendall was persistent and would not give up. They eventually arrived at Logan's home.

"Is your mum here honey?" Logan shook his head.

"Well I don't feel right leaving you by yourself."

Logan quickly wrote down something on the page of paper before passing it to Kendall who read it out to his mum.

"He said it's okay."

"Are you sure?" Logan nodded.

"Do you want me to call her or anything," Logan shook his head. He then got out of the car and began to walk to his door.

"WAIT LOGAN!" he heard Kendall yell, Logan turned just in time to be hit by the full force of Kendall pulling him into a hug.

"Bye, I'll see you at school tomorrow," Kendall whispered in Logan's ear, before running back to his car. He shut the door, and waved out the window as he drove away. Logan stood there stunned by what had just happened. Needless to say, that birthday was his best birthday ever.

Perhaps things might get better after all.

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**Loved it? Hated it? Let me know:D**

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


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